This post follows on from She’s Thai and he’s English: Traditional Thai ways
Giant Centipede Is No Match
One morning at our accommodation in a nice, friendly guesthouse of Hua Hin I noticed a monstrosity of a thing making its way across the tiled floor towards my wife, who incidentally had her back to it and was re-packing the suit cases for the journey to Bangkok. I had an idea what this thing was as in a recent Thai language lesson with my teacher back in England we had been learning about dangerous insects and animals in Thailand and identifying them.
Da Khaap (ตะขาบ) I shouted to my wife, Da khap. The full horror on my wife’s face as she turned round to see this giant and I mean giant centipede journeying towards her. She was up and off out of the blocks like a champion hurdler as we both observed the beast from a standing position on top of the bed.
A shout in to the next room saw Khun Maa arrive to investigate in to what all the fuss was about. Khun Maa (Thai word for Mother) saw the beast and he saw her, but he was no match I am afraid and she took him out with one of my wife’s high-heeled shoes. The battle was messy and it was eight blows to none in favour of Khun Maa as the giant centipede lay there in about 8 different pieces.
Each piece was collected up by Khun Maa and deposited in to the waste paper basket and I can tell you it filled the bin up a good fair way. I was just half way through my announcement of ” and still the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world” when Khun Maa without any fuss went straight back in her room to watch the television.
Khum Maa takes a rest at Chinese New Year, Nakhon Sawan
Relaxing Boat Trip
Traditional ways still run deep with Khun Maa (คุณแม่ ,the word for Mother in Thai), and you or anyone else connected with the family will soon know about it , if you step outside the perimeters of these traditional ways. Although having mellowed in her advancing years Khun Maa can still dish out a glare of discontent and a fair old tongue lashing when required.
On a recent visit to Bangkok we took her on a canal trip at to enjoy the parts not often seen of Bangkok. I was in usual mode of taking photos, looking around with note pad and pen at the ready to record any new ideas that might come my way. On completion of the trip I mentioned that sitting in the boat had given me back ache. What actually happened was all the turning around from the hips up, whilst legs stayed in one place had probably caused it.
Khun Maa without hesitation and referring to me added ” he never keeps still, he never relaxes, never lets his brain rest and sits tensely” I had been told and as I laughed there was a slight smile on the face of Khun Maa also. The farang had been told off, but had taken it well.
Relaxing boat trip
Mines Phat Krapow Gai
I do have a long time standing joke with Khun Maa whenever we all go out to eat. It is merely just a common courtesy to ask Khun Maa what she would like to eat as the answer is always the same. It does not matter whether it is breakfast, lunch or dinner khun Maa will always request ”Phat Krapow Gai” (ผัดกระเพราไก่).
As the waiter or waitress arrives to take the groups order, working their way around the table taking individual preferences, I wait for them to reach Khun Maa. As soon as the waiter/waitress arrives at Khun Maa I say ”Phat Krapow Gai” which brings a wry old smile to the face of Khun Maa.
My wife has often tried to get Khun Maa to change her order and have something different, but to no avail. I of course am only joking with Khun Maa, but am really of the opinion of, if that is what she enjoys then that is what she should have.
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